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Review: I Tried the Enby, a New Gender-Free Sex Toy

The night I met Chris*, he had been on just three dates with my roommate. Yet, a mere 30 minutes after I first shook his hand, we were already talking about our sex lives. This experience isn’t out of the ordinary for me: When I tell people I write about sex, they suddenly feel comfortable asking very personal questions. This time, however, I was shaken because Chris asked me a question that I could not answer: “Where are all the sex toys for transgender men?”

Now, several months later, I have an answer for Chris: He should try the Enby.

What Makes the Enby Different

While I could point Chris to several toys that would feel good on his body, I couldn’t name one that was made for him, as the majority of the market is designed with either cisgender men or cisgender women in mind. What’s more, toys are often unnecessarily gendered by companies and retailers alike. For years, nearly every vibrator you could buy was pink. Many feature names like the Womanizer and Mr. Swirly, and are sold within “For Her” and “For Him” categories. Luckily, all of this is (slowly) beginning to change as more women and queer and transgender people create sex toys and open sex toy shops.

Enby is a new, gender-free sex toy from Wild Flower. What is a “gender-free sex toy,” you ask? Unlike most products in its genre, the Enby was designed to fit the needs of any genitals and any gender, thus the name. (The word is often used as shorthand for nonbinary people: “nonbinary” is abbreviated to “NB,” pronounced “enby.”)

Depending on your anatomy, you can bend the toy into a penis-sleeve or rub your clit against it. It can also be put into a strap-on harness or slipped between two bodies during partner play, according to Wild Flower’s co-founders Nick and Amy Boyajian. The couple designed the Enby to meet their own needs, as well as the needs of their friends and customers. Amy, who’s nonbinary, wished for a sex toy they could hump while masturbating on their stomach, and customers wanted something they could utilize with a strap-on.

Courtesy of Brand

“So many people wrote emails asking us to recommend toys that they could slip into a harness,” Amy tells Allure. “They were like ‘I love wearing my strap and fucking my partner, but it’s not doing anything for me.” Others wanted something that would add vibration to partnered sex, but didn’t need to be held or inserted into a vagina or anus. And still others needed sex toys that would transition with them — a need that is rarely, if ever, addressed within the industry.

How the Enby Works

Nick and Amy set to work designing a toy to fit everyone’s needs. The result: a vibrator that resembles something like a stingray, and comes in black and a deep purple — colors chosen by Amy and Nick because they’re commonly considered gender-neutral. The toy has super flexible wings that make it easy to bend, a flexible curved hump on the top, and three ridges on the bottom.

Courtesy of brand

All of these features combined make this vibrator incredibly versatile — and that makes it a perfect toy for Chris and other transgender and nonbinary folks. In fact, a transgender friend of Amy and Nick’s helped inspire Enby. Soon after they started drawing up the plans, Nick and Amy were talking with a friend who’d recently had genital reconstruction. She had to throw away all of her sex toys after surgery, she complained, because they didn’t work with her new body. Now, she had the expensive task of recreating her sex toy collection.


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