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Thank you, Uri Geller.
Photo: Peter Bischoff/Getty Images
In these times of constant, man-made uncertainty, we get the superhero we deserve: Uri Geller, an Israeli-British illusionist of dubious power, famed for his ability to bend spoons with his brain and definitely not just his hands. The 72-year-old claims he made good on his promise to telepathically block Brexit on Thursday, channeling all his mind magic into the plumbing above a parliamentary chamber where members of Britain’s House of Commons were having a Brexit debate. Focusing with all his might, Geller says he bent the pipes and flooded out the day’s proceedings.
It’s admittedly a Band-Aid solution — MPs still need to agree on some kind of European Union exit plan by April 12.
Geller reportedly drew inspiration for the stunt from a leaky pipe he discovered at his museum’s coffee shop in Jaffa on Thursday morning. “Then I got the idea: I’m going to burst or bend a pipe in the Parliament,” he told British radio host Tom Swarbrick. “I concentrated, and the pipe burst. I heard about it a little later, but this was the chronology, this is what happened.”
According to the Washington Post, the Parliament building has been in a notorious state of disrepair for years: “Pipes frequently burst, brickwork is crumbling, and the building is riddled with asbestos.” It bears noting, too, that the surprise bout of indoor rain did not stop Brexit — Prime Minister Theresa May asked the E.U. to extend the departure deadline again on Friday — but merely suspended proceedings while work crews addressed the spillage. One of those repairmen called in to Swarbrick’s show, apparently seeking to trap Geller in a gotcha moment (it’s been done before) by asking the alleged illusionist if he could pinpoint the general location of Parliament’s burst pipe.
“Oh come on,” Geller scoffed. “I have no idea! I focus on a thing generally … I focus on bend the pipe, break water, get those parliamentarians, get the members of Parliament soaked.”
“I can’t sack them,” he emphasized, “but I can soak them.”
Geller won’t be satisfied until Britain holds a second Brexit referendum, and has asked the whole country’s help in achieving that goal.
Anyway, if you were wondering how a person mentally manipulates metal, here’s some Kellogg’s spon-con in which Geller — perched on a throne made of spoons — explains his melting methods.